HILARITY

A ridiculously funny video about a VERY deluded aspiring author.



Sadly, I know people who think that it's really that easy. Please. If getting published was that simple I'd have a shelf in Borders right now.

I didn't make this video. I only wish I had.  © 2010 David Kazzie  Link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9fc-crEFDw

It's Okay to Be Cliche, or, How Meg Cabot Restored My Faith in Writing

I've had my first five chapters of Jasmine Powers, Super Geek posted on Inkpop for about two months now (see this post for an explanation of what Inkpop is), and most of the feedback has been really positive and encouraging. But when I've gotten harsh critique, there's one thing that I've heard repeatedly: there are people who think my story is too cliche. I love my story, and I very purposefully included some so-called cliche elements in it because they are plot devices that I love, but I still take this to heart somewhat. One commentor said my story reminded them of "every 90's teen movie." My initial reaction was "Hooray! that's totally what I was going for," and then I realized that they meant that as a bad thing. Oh.

Critique Groups: Why They Rock & Why They Should Be Like Randy Jackson

Tonight (or rather, this morning since I'm writing this at 1 AM), I'm going to write about something very near and dear to my heart: critique groups. I participate in two - one is composed of online writers, who I have never met in person but have given me some amazing advice, and another is an in person group of fellow members of the Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators. My critique groups have been absolutely amazing at giving me helpful advice, and also giving me a confidence boost when I really needed one. A few weeks ago, I went to my group for SCBWI, and as I was reading I kept thinking to myself 'This is horrible. This is garbage. This is the worst thing I've ever written. I am so embarrassed. Why on Earth am I reading this out loud????' but I'd already started, so it was too late to quit. I finished reading my chapter, and sat back, waiting for my critique partners to eviscerate me and...they didn't. They actually had very nice things to say, suggestions too, but the general consensus was that they liked it. And once I took a deep breath, I realized that what I'd written was actually not so bad and even had some really nice moments.

This scared the CRAP out of me!

The video below is for an autonomous taxi cab which can pick you up and drive you somewhere with NO DRIVER. I would've thought my initial reaction would be "Cool! Robotics!" but instead I was terrified. As I watched the man climb into the driverless robo-cab all I could think was "NO! Don't get in the car! Didn't you see The Bone Collector or that one episode of Criminal Minds??? Bad things happen to good people who get into creepy cabs!" Mind you, I have nothing against cabs, I use them all the time, but I am on major creeper alert before I'll climb into one. Here is my checklist:
-Does all the paperwork look like it's in order?
-Can I see the driver's face? (Sorry, but if your face is obstructed by huge sunglasses and a hat pulled low, I am not getting into your cab...Unibomber!!!)
-Do the 'unlock' mechanisms in the backseat appear to be fully functional?

Granted, it's not foolproof, but I like to think it prevents me from riding with any OBVIOUS psycho murderers. And now I have to add a NEW question to my checklist:
-IS THERE A DRIVER AT ALL?

After watching this video, my mind immediately went all dystopian and started wondering "What if that cab was sent by the government to abduct you? Or what if you really believe it's taking you where you asked it to, but the cab has ideas of it's own because it's part of the machine revolution? Or what if the man behind the helm is some sort of psycho killer who lures his victims to his lair in autonomous cabs?" Mark my words. I will never get into one of those things. Oh, and you know where they are? GERMANY.

 I'm sure they're much more progressive now, etc, etc, etc, but I'm gonna  be honest. I already have some real hesitations about the idea of ever being IN Germany, and now they're putting people in robocabs? It's just too much. I can't take this.

Maybe this time...I'll Wiiiiiiin!

"All the odds are, they're in my favor, something's bound to give in. It's gonna happen, happen sometime. Maybe this time... Maybe this time I'll wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!"

So I've previously mentioned that I have a bunch of songs I repeatedly listen to on YouTube and/or Grooveshark when I'm feeling down about the Agent Search (yes, I know that shouldn't technically be capitalized, but it's a really big deal in my life OK? lol)

This is the song I sing to myself whenever I get a response to a submission, before I actually open it.

(Yeah, I know it's actually from Cabaret but I'm a total Gleek so I listen to this version. And, yes, I know I am incredibly melodramatic. I'm okay with that.)

Maybe This Time - Glee Version (feat Kristin Chenowith & Lea Michele)

The YA View: What We Like in Our Books (and What We Don’t) | Write4Kids!

Check out a pretty good article from the Children's Book Insider, providing some teen views on what they're into and what they're over. Granted, it's only a few girls and these are just their individual opinions, but I still always find it helpful to read/hear insight from teens. My favorite quote in the article:

"Finally, I have a request. Write a normal love interest for us. Someone who isn’t all mysterious and dark and brooding. Someone who doesn’t have eyes that convey hidden depths or battle scars that form weird tattoos. Someone who doesn’t display exceedingly stalkerish traits and isn’t illogically overprotective. Someone who isn’t named Damien."

I think Andrew is a pretty 'normal' love interest. He certainly doesn't convey any hidden depths, lol. For some reason, I've always had a 'thing' for arrogant boys. Sigh. What does that say about me...?

Ok, enough psychoanalysis. Check out the article here:

The YA View: What We Like in Our Books (and What We Don’t) | Write4Kids!

What if Superheroes were Hipsters?

From: http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1809153

Because I love humor, superheroes, & comics. A great link from CollegeHumor :)

"If Superheroes Were Hipsters" by Caldwell Tanner on CollegeHumor

It Could Be Worse...

That looks like a pincushion she's holding, but it's the heart of some poor aspiring designer. 

(Photo from: http://www.modelinia.com/blog/meet-heidi-klum-in-wii-form/16657)

So I was watching Project Runway tonight (I'm not a regular viewer, I'll flip to it if it happens to be on when I'm in the mood to watch TV), and for the first time it hit me how difficult it must be to stand up on that runway and take harsh criticism from the judges. As the bottom three designers got feedback from Heidi and the crew, I realized that being on Project Runway is a lot like the process of trying to get a literary agent. 


-You send out a sample of your work to experts (fashion portfolio to producers/query letter to agents) 
-Said agents either reject you outright or ask to see more
-You take a last look at your creation, something which is intensely personal and a reflection of yourself, and you release your fragile baby into the world...
-AND THEN PEOPLE TEAR IT APART!!!!


Fashion, like writing, is a subjective art. There are clear no-no's (crooked seams, ragged hems, bad grammar and spelling), but even when you've studied your craft and followed the rules, there will be people who don't like what you've done creatively. But what's a terrible fit for one person, is someone else's Cinderella dress.


The query and submission process is rough. But through it all, I remind myself, that it could be worse. I'm not getting rejected on a stage in front of my peers, while agents stare me down and giggle behind their cue cards.


And more importantly....


There are no cameras. 

Just for Fun:

Tim Gunn says, and I quote,  "Make it work. Carry on. Holla at your boy!" Loves it.






(From: http://www.bravotv.com/project-runway/videos/holla-at-yo-boy)

Wanna publish a book but don't know where to start?

Writer's Digest has put together a really easy to follow breakdown of how to go from great idea to publication. Well...how to try anyway. Because there comes a point when all you can do is sit back and fervently hope, wish, and pray for good news. (Guess which phase I'm in?) Anyhow, check out the article below for an awesomely simple breakdown.

There Are No Rules - I Want to Publish My Book. Now What?

How to stay sane: Get feedback from your target audience

I've decided to start writing a series of entries called 'How to Stay Sane,' describing the things that I do to keep from losing my mind while I wait to see what will happen with my book. And so, without further ado, my first piece of advice:

So I recently posted my first 4 chapters of Jasmine Powers, Super Geek on InkPop.com. (That's right, you read correctly, the first four chapters. So if you wanna read more than what I've posted here, you can join InkPop and hopefully select me as a pick!)

What is InkPop, you ask? It's an online community where writers of YA fiction can post their work, read other peoples' stories, and get comments on their own. Plus, you can choose up to five stories as 'picks' and at the end of each month, the 5 stories with the most 'picks' are selected to receive a critique from editors at HarperCollins. Pretty awesome opportunity right? But what's even cooler is that it gives you an opportunity to get your work read by actual teenagers.

Even though some really amazing agents have requested my book, getting query rejections still stings. It starts to make me paranoid like 'omigosh, this agent didn't love it, so that means every agent is going to hate it!' Of course we all know the business is subjective, and even the most popular, successful authors in the world have some rejections under their belt (Meg Cabot says she has a whole bag of them under her bed!) but it's still discouraging that everyone I've queried isn't clamoring to represent me (dare to dream right?)
And when I start to think this way, instead of feeling excited about the requests I have out, I start feeling gloomy and waiting for the other shoe to drop, like I shouldn't even get my hopes up because bad news is worse after you've gotten hopeful and the news is destined to be bad.

Then I give myself a reality check. The truth is, although I am dying to find the right agent, my real goal is to impress teen readers. I want an agent to help me find a great publisher who will make my book available to the masses, but after that, I'm not really marketing my book to literary agents. I mean, I would love it if they buy it too (heck, I want EVERYONE to buy it!), but my target audience is teenagers. And if every literary agent in the world hates my book, but teen readers love it, I've still accomplished something pretty cool. And InkPop gives YA writers an opportunity to get feedback from the people they are ultimately catering to, people who read (and buy) YA books.

So, unnamed agents who do not love my book, you might not be head-over-heels for it but guess what? Some total strangers (who are in my target audience) have loved it and that makes me feel GREAT. And that is the feeling I'm going to hold on to, instead of the stomach-dropping sadness of query rejections.

Glowing Inkpop reviews = my anti drug.

LOL.

Food for thought - What is terrible writing?

Read a really interesting blog post today (I love how easy Blogger makes it to link to things!) about someone being told by an intern at a literary agency that books with prologues were 'terrible writing.' I'm not so concerned about interns reading my queries, I trust that they've been well trained by the agents they work for to select stories their employer would be interested in. But I do find it disturbing that a literary intern (or ANYONE in publishing for that matter) would dismiss Twilight, The Swimsuit, and The Da Vinci Code as 'terrible writing.' Talk about ARROGANCE. It's fine to say that you didn't like something or it wasn't your style (although personally I liked all of those books), but to hop on a high horse and say they were terrible because they didn't appeal to you personally is ridiculous. I'd really like to know, who died and made this person Queen or King of Quality in Fiction?

Spelling and grammatical errors all over the place? Terrible writing.
Plot with huge holes that don't make any sense? Terrible writing.
Wooden characters who a reader could never relate to? Terrible writing.
A story that you just didn't connect to? Well, that's a story that you just didn't connect to.

Check out the original post below:

AJ & Charli Bite Back: I WANT TO BE A TERRIBLE WRITER, SERIOUSLY.: "I jumped on the query super highway. I went blazing, speeding, and didn't wear a seat belt. Not only was I not securely fastened but I didn'..."

Feeling Optimistic

I've been working on a new project for the last few hours and am feeling pretty good about it. Plot holes are starting to come together in my head. My characters tend to be like real people, in that it takes time to get to know them, and they won't reveal everything in the beginning no matter how much I try to rush the relationship. I was writing for two months before I figured out how Jasmine got her superpowers. I had the entire plot mapped out but there was just this small issue of how she happened to be super. Which is clearly, not a small issue at all. And the idea didn't come while I was writing either, I was actually crossing the street by the Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro Stop in DC and I tripped. And a light bulb went off. Random right? 

I'm learning to accept that sometimes I can't force the ideas, and they will come when they're good and ready. In the meantime I just keep writing, writing, writing - and depending on the gaps to fill themselves in as I get there. 

Since the last YouTube video I posted was incredibly melodramatic (What can I say? I'm an artiste. And all that pent up emotion makes for good material), I'm going to post something a bit more inspirational today. Another song I've mentally remixed to be about my writing experience, and the song I plan to sing all day when I sign w/ the right agent. From Legally Blonde, the Musical. (Love that movie!)

(video not mine, embedded from YouTube)

''Dear Lucky Agent'' Contest: Paranormal Romance & Urban Fantasy

"Welcome to the sixth (free!) "Dear Lucky Agent" Contest on the GLA blog. This will be a recurring online contest with agent judges and super-cool prizes. Here'sthe deal: With every contest, the details are essentially the same, but the nicheitself changes—meaning each contest is focused around a specific category or two. So if you're writing a book-length novel that's paranormal romance or urban fantasy, this sixth contest is for you!" (Info taken verbatim from Guide to Literary Agent's Blog at: http://www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog/Sixth+Dear+Lucky+Agent+Contest+Paranormal+Romance+Urban+Fantasy.aspx)

Where it all begins...

So I've been trying to figure out exactly what's going to become of this blog. It started out as a resting place for my sample chapters, but then I started to kind of have fun toying around with it. I think it is gradually becoming an online diary of sorts, describing my journey from desperate, starving artist to (hopefully someday) successful, published YA author extraordinaire. So I guess I'll give the background and then share how things progress from this point.

 My journey so far has consisted of:
-a year of writing (I started Jasmine Powers, Super Geek in July '09),
-a LOT of revisions (I've been trading chapters with 3 online critique partners and reading at a weekly in-person critique group),
-and a fair share of queries sent out. I'll just say that if I hit 100 query rejections with no agent, that's when I give up the ghost and trunk this book. And I've still got a long way to go, so I'm feeling pretty good. Got a lot of rejections on my first round query because frankly, it was horrible and I just didn't know enough to realize that then. Took a long pause for the cause and did a new round with my current, much transformed, many times revised version.

With my current query, I've gotten a good number of requests and one particularly helpful rejection on a partial, which led to some revisions which I think really improved the story. I've also had a few form rejections (not right for my list/ just didn't fall in love with the story/voice/concept/ME. Ok, no one said they didn't fall in love with me, but really that's what it felt like) and those were tough. I am usually pretty rational and constantly remind myself that I read and enjoy a lot of well-written books which I don't fall in love with, and I know that it's in my best interest to be patient and find that perfect agent who loves my story the way I do....BUT....I still have moments where I feel like this:


(video not mine, embedded from YouTube)


I've been remaking the song in my head to be about writing my experience. Once I get an agent, I promise I will make a remake of the video w/ my aspiring author version of the song and post it here. One more fun thing to look forward to!

Calling All Fellow Writers!

Angela Ackerman is running a great contest for writers to win a critique or three months of membership. Yowza! Entry is simple, just follow her blog and repost (as I have done here) Check it out:

http://thebookshelfmuse.blogspot.com/2010/09/1000-followers-contest-mentorship.html

My query letter

So since I mentioned my query letter in 'So what's going on with the book' explanation, I figured I might as well post it here. Don't know if anyone will find this interesting, but this is the letter I've been sending to agents to try and get them interested enough to want to read my book. (This is probably about the 15th version, I've done a ton of drafting and rewriting this thing). I'm pretty happy with this one and have been pleased with the results so far. So without further ado, my query letter:

Hot off the press! Chapters One and Two! Bigger and Better!

So I revised the opening chapters AGAIN. I've stopped counting how many times I've rewritten them. I got some really helpful feedback from critique partners and have added some new additional early conflict for Jasmine and hopefully amped up the tension. Without further ado, here are my brand spanking new versions of Chapters 1 & 2.

Go ahead and click! You know you want to!

So what's going on with the book?

Good question. I'm still in literary limbo trying to land my book with the right agent who will love it the way I do. So far I've had more rejections than I can count on my hands, but I've also gotten some helpful feedback and have ten current requests that are being reviewed by agents as we speak. (Ok, I'm writing this at 2:43 AM so the chance that they are actually reading my book right now is slim. But I'm sure it's on their to-do lists!) The average response time for a submission (I send query letter, if agent is intrigued they respond with a request to read it, I send them the book and that's a submission) is 6-8 weeks, sometimes faster, sometimes slower. It depends on the agent's schedule, what kind of work they're balancing for current clients, whether they dedicate nights and weekends to reading submissions, etc. A good agent is dedicated to their current clients so reading submissions from potential clients seems to be something they kind of fit into their schedules when they find the time. Let's hope they find some time for me real soon!

What happens next?

Well, agents will respond in 1 of 3 ways:

Rejection - Bad. Boooo!

Request for revision - Better. Means they see potential and may offer representation if they fully connect with my story after I make some suggested changes

Offer of Representation - BEST! They offer to represent me and sell my book.

So now I'm wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' that I'll have good news to report soon. Will keep you posted!

Meet Jasmine!

I promised you artwork and here it is! I wish I could say I did this, but I am just not that talented. But I described Jasmine to a friend of mine who's an amazing artist and he agreed to do a sketch. This is what he came up with and she's pretty darn close to the Jasmine in my head. What do you guys think?

Artwork

I know. This page is kind of boring. It has lots of words (and I love words), but graphics really liven up a website, don't ya think? Unfortunately, my artistic talents do not extend to the visual arts so, as you can see, the artwork on my site right now is...less than stellar. (But I know you love my clip art with the beakers, right?) And that's why I have some absolutely amazing artists working on some graphics which will liven up this page and bring my characters to life! I hope to have something to show you guys soon, but until then sit tight and know that it's coming and it's going to be AWESOME!

Read the first two chapters!

Chapter 1

Monday          

“History is more than just the study of the past. It shapes us. It defines us. It determines who we are.” Mrs. Bakare grabbed a piece of chalk and scribbled on the board, her wooden bracelets clicking together as she wrote. “I want you all to think about this quote for tomorrow. Study the past if you would divine the future. Confucius.”

Revisions & Updates!

Hello everyone! It's been a while since I posted here, I've been hard at work trying to get 'Jasmine Powers, Super Geek' off of my computer and onto a bookshelf near you! I recently made some pretty major revisions to the manuscript, the biggest change being that I split it in half. (It was originally almost four hundred pages. Now the first book is two books, at about two hundred pages each) I think that this split makes the book much more manageable, and I was able to do it in a way that I think really feels organic. So if you noticed that I changed the description of the book, that's because some of that action now doesn't happen until book two. If you've already read that, then you are totally in on upcoming events already (spoiler city!). I also made some changes to the first two chapters. I've been posting snippets of my writing on some really great author feedback websites, querytracker.com and mywriterscircle.com, and the great comments people have shared inspired me to make some revisions which I think really strengthened the plot. So I've reposted the first two chapters and deleted the old ones since having both up could get confusing.

Also, I've got....drumroll please....BIG NEWS! After some truly heartbreaking rejections to my query letter, I reworked it for the hundred millionth time (OK, maybe I'm exaggerating just a little), and I've gotten some really positive responses to my new version. Now all I can do is hope and pray (and you can too!) that I get signed with the right agent soon so you guys can read the whole thing!

As always, thanks for reading this and for even being interested in what I'm doing. I'm so excited about my book and I can't wait to share it with you guys once things really get off the ground!

-Stephanie